Hello, hello. Can’t believe I’m actually doing this post (in time for Valentine’s Day, obviously)! I had this idea after stumbling into the wrong corner of YouTube Vocaloid MVs, which I used to watch the heck out of in my early otaku days. I’m assuming you all know what a yandere is. In case you don’t, a yandere is someone who is romantically obsessed, often characterized by twisted, violent behaviour and thinking. So yeah, trigger warnings. This post will be divided into levels of yandere-ness for your benefit. 🙂
Disclaimer: although Moya adores certain yanderes as well as the idea of having scissors as weapons, she has no record of homicide and is currently safely single. Has never hurt anyone in the process of loving somebody, except occasionally herself.
Yandere Level: Creepy
もうそう♡えくすぷれす/Mousou Express (Kana Hanazawa):: “What? But it’s Kana Hanazana singing an adorable song!” But note the laughter in the beginning and listen closely to all those “zenbu’s”. The amount of obsession in this song… I watched Bakemonogatari, but I must confess that I haven’t gotten around to seeing the rest of the Monogatari series yet, so I can’t exactly comment on Nadeko’s yandere level. She is definitely a highly problematic character though, and this song exemplifies that.
Cutie Panther (BiBi): If you think about it, Cutie Panther’s lyrics are freakin’ creepy. I say this because my first exposure to Love Live! was my friend whispering the line “獲物は…君だよ!” (the prey is you!) close to my ear during a sleepover. I will forever be haunted by that memory.
Yandere Level: Chilling
Beast in the Beauty (luz): this one came out of a song series called “Royal Scandal”, which I highly recommend. The series is loaded with obsessiveness, promiscuity, and gorgeous art. While this one’s story is quite predictable from the beginning, I still enjoy it for what it is. A lot of female rage in this one.
狐ノ嫁入リ/The Fox’s Wedding (Rin Kagamine): I love anything related to the Japanese folklore of fox weddings. It’s a very pretty song. So far, all the yanderes featured in the “Chilling” category are pretty easy to sympathize with. Truth be told, I prefer Hanatan’s cover of the song, but I chose this video because that one doesn’t have English subbed versions.
Yandere Level: Perverse
*Here’s where the trigger warning comes into effect! Depictions of homicide and necrophilia.
愛し子よ/Beloved Child (RURUTIA): the most twisted thing about this song is probably the fact that it has a misleading title and constantly addresses a “beloved child”, who one can infer to be an unfaithful partner. This MV has no subtitles, unfortunately, but I can tell you that the lyrics talk of possessiveness and strangulation. I thought it was a lullaby when I downloaded it after listening to its beginning parts, but boy was I wrong! The MV features the woman boxing something up. I don’t think you need to be super imaginative to be able to guess what that something is, after she drugs her lover and washes her hands in the end and all that.
ネクロの花嫁/The Necrophile’s Bride (Bis): A doctor and a dead lady, dancing. The only male yandere on the list. What makes this song disconcerting for me is that it’s actually based on a real story involving a necrophiliac doctor, Carl Tanzler. There’s a documentary of him if you’re into those things. Thank you, YouTube’s comment section. The lyrics are faithful to the story down to specific descriptions of how the body is preserved. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about that.
円尾坂の仕立屋/Tailor Shop on Enbizaka (Luka Megurine): If we’re talking Vocaloid yandere songs, most of you should know this one. I discovered this song in the beginning of high school, and it kind of traumatized me. In retrospect, it’s not actually that horrible. Putting the song here feels like a bit of a spoiler, but you should be able to figure out how it works pretty easily if you’re not diverted like I was when I first watched the video.
So there you go. This isn’t a list of the most brutal yandere songs I can think of, but a list of ones that I actually kind of like. Have yourself a happy Valentine’s Day. What are your favourite yandere songs/yanderes in general?